Hey guys — Jim and whoever else is lurking — loving the conversations here. But I’ve been thinking… we really need a woman’s perspective in the mix.
I’m trying to get my wife into shooting, and I’m clueless about what she’d actually prefer: stock fit, caliber, accessories, whatever. And honestly, I’d love to hear from women who shoot regularly about what kind of coaching or assistance doesn’t annoy them. Help us husbands out a bit.
At the range the other day, I had her shoot my Tikka T3x 6.5 CM. She said she didn’t get why people use bipods. Turns out she couldn’t see anything through the scope — even though I asked her about eye relief beforehand. So clearly I’m missing something.
Any advice from women shooters would be awesome. Cheers.
I hope that I’m not lurking, but here is my experience with my wife . When we were first married, I bought her a full size S&W M&P shield in 9mm (no recoil, right) and she hated it. Strike 1… I then bought her a nice semiautomatic Ithaca 12 gauge for home defense (who can’t point and shoot). Strike 2… I was trying to teach her how to shoot “my way”, you know the way I learned. In a moment of zero stress on the way back from a friends daughters wedding, I asked her what would help her enjoy shooting with me without stress. She responded with “a class just for women that puts it in a way that we understand”. She also said that we, as men, grow up knowing certain things about guns that she had no idea about. I had not thought about that at all.
Fast forward a couple of years and a group of ladies from the church found a class that was specifically designed for new women shooters and a large group signed up. My wife LOVED IT. She still talks about it! We sold the 9mm and she picked out the pistol that she really likes and shoots well (M&P Shield EZ in .380 ACP). My sons hate it because she outshoots them consistently. I took over the 12 gauge and found a bull pup design that shoots the “mini” loads. She now has a 22LR pistol, the 380, an 22LR Springfield 2020 Waypoint, and .223 Rem in a Ruger American Varmint, and a CZ 243. She asks me to go to the range for “ballistic therapy” at least once a month.
So my takeaways are as follows: #1 find a class built specifically for women and see if she will take it. We, as men and husbands, are not the best people to teach our wives how to shoot. You may be the exception, but I feel certain that this is the gender rule. #2 let her pick the gun/scope Combo that she likes. It ended up costing me money to get her what I thought she needed. It would have been cheaper in the long run to let her. #3 encourage baby steps. Start with a plan that involves patience on your part and don’t force the issue and she may just surprise you. Good luck and Happy shooting.
Interesting that this is what you discovered, since it is what I would professionally recommend. Professionally, I have been in learning and education for the last 30 +years. On the learning side, women don’t learn any differently from men. But their motivation is different. I sent my wife to a class as well and I have never “taught” her how to shoot. It was taught by a woman and she spoke to my wife’s “why” better than I ever could.
My daughter, I have taught. But, outside of safety and mechanics, I let her shoot tons before I offered her any instruction. I needed her to have a certain baseline understanding for me to communicate to. So now, when I coach her to square her shoulders and exhale through the shot she knows what I mean cause she has the experience to frame it. My daughter’s why was obvious for me. I took her hunting with me (in a deer blind) and I shot a massive hog while she was with me. After that, she was hooked.
Another thing to consider is that women pursue hobbies that they enjoy and avoid those that cause stress or discomfort. Massive generality, but on the whole this is accurate even if not accurate for all. They won’t continue with something “just because”. Men will often keep to a hobby they “hate” because they want to get better at it so they can like it. Men can learn to like what they are good it. Women, generally, will not do this. So, it is pointless to push.
oh man, that’s gold. thanks for sharing this , it makes me feel better. and the thing you said about guy just knowing stuff. when she said she couldn’t see nothing , I was telling her just move forward and backward and let me know when there is no shades, and she kept saying that she couldn’t see. In my head I was like ‘wth is going on.’ then I showed her and she said that her neck doesn’t move the same way. so definitely I will try to find a women’s only course for all the reasons mentioned . at the end of the day it’s what she needs to have fun and enjoy the process
thanks Ben, that makes lots of sense, I wish I would have brought up the subject sooner. I live off grid in Yukon and sometimes I tend to just try solving things on my own
Here is my experience with my wife she wanted a pistol but due to her health she cant hold anything heavy for very long shield 9mm too heavy ended up with the 380 cal Glock put a laser on it at her request. My wife hails from Kansas a farm girl. I took her to the range reiterated safety rules and rehashed aiming and had her shoot a mag full. She put every round in the dirt, i tried to make light of it and told her “I can tell your a KS farm girl all you did was plow the earth” oops she said lets go home. I then showed her several firearms for women courses in our area she went and is fairly competent. She also has an AR which she hadnt shot.
I offered to get her a light cal/weight hunting rifle she declined and said I want an optic on my AR in case i need to defend the house ( I just retired from LE and over the years had people show up on the doorstep, not to mention threats to kill my family many times) so she got her optic and 3x magnifer shes content. Im still hoping to get her into hunting. Ive been forgiven for my terrible first training and i do much better now.
I taught my wife how to fly fish.
My advice…. Don’t we are still married but sometimes when we fish it’s just barely.
For shooting I sent my wife to a class for women as well. She has a female cousin that teaches a class about 3 hours from where we live, is like to get her into that class sometime.
If you were not able to describe ad correct the not being able to see anything through the scope then you need to have here take shooting instruction from a certified instructor.
. When we were first married, I bought her a full size S&W M&P shield in 9mm (no recoil, right) and she hated it. Strike 1… I then bought her a nice semiautomatic Ithaca 12 gauge for home defense (who can’t point and shoot). Strike 2… I was trying to teach her how to shoot “my way”, you know the way I learned. In a moment of zero stress on the way back from a friends daughters wedding, I asked her what would help her enjoy shooting with me without stress. She responded with “a class just for women that puts it in a way that we understand”. She also said that we, as men, grow up knowing certain things about guns that she had no idea about. I had not thought about that at all.
we are still married but sometimes when we fish it’s just barely.